Happy friggin' birthday to me.
That was my first conscious thought when my alarm went off this morning. Today, I turn 30 years old. Well, technically speaking, I'm still 29 until 9:31 pm, but who's counting, right?
I need to be honest though: 30 doesn't bother me the way it does most. I think. I suppose I'm excited for it. You could say my twenties were a holy horror shit storm (understatement of the year) so I'm gratefully looking forward to turning the page to the next chapter in my life.
Just like everyone else, I had this "timeline" in my head. You know what I mean; you've done it too: "By the time I'm ____ years old, I will have_____________." Fill in the blanks. And now that zero-hour is upon me, I can reflect on my life and see if I'm on track.
Do I have a great family, fantastic friends, an amazing fiancee, a successful career? You bet your sweet ass I do. A lovely home, a working vehicle, and a savings account? Check, check and check. But now in my 30 years of wisdom, I know that you can't tick off a checklist to see if you're "on track." It can't be counted by what you HAVE, or even what you've DONE, but really only by what you ARE. And what I AM is HAPPY. I am click-my-heels, sing-in-the-rain, skip-to-my-Lou happy. I worked my ass off to gain this happiness. Let me clarify: I dug and searched and pulled hidden strengths out of the depths of my being to gain this happiness. I found it in myself. It was always there, even during that shit storm.
There were moments in the last decade I didn't think I'd see, hell, I didn't WANT to see, the next decade. But each one of those moments led me to today.
Now don't get me wrong - my twenties weren't all terrible. I have some amazing memories of the last ten years: walking across the stage and receiving my bill, er, I mean my DEGREE, breathing in the Maui sunshine, hugging my children, margarita nights with my girlfriends. But most of all what I will hold near and dear is learning about myself. My twenties were a road to discovery, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Now it's time for me to kick off my shoes, take a deep breath, and welcome my 30s with open arms. Or at least face them with the confidence and no-nonsense attitude my twenties taught me.
Remember we must all grow old but growing up is an option. Trust me when I say the best is yet to come.
ReplyDeleteAs my dad would say, "Age is just a number." He says some other things, though, that make me question his authority on certain subjects, but hey....I think he's got something here.
ReplyDelete